Talking about Happiness

One of our more interesting assignments in class was to try and discuss happiness with complete strangers, just to see what happens. I was presented with a unique opportunity last Friday at a nursing home and thought, "Who better to know about how we find happiness in life than old people? (my mind apparently isn't very "politically correct"). But in all seriousness, it makes sense. Asking about it wasn't all that hard surprisingly. Nobody was completely shocked or off put, but gave me an answer after we shared a bit of dialogue. So here's really briefly what I learned from different individuals.

#1 Woman: "Happiness is what you make of it, you just have to look hard enough for it."

#2 Woman: "You know it when you find it." (First woman agreed)

#3 Woman: "It's in your heart dear."

#4 Woman: "You work with what you're given and be thankful for your health." (she was recovering from a car accident and would soon walk again)

These are women I more or less approached at their tables and after a short "what're you up to?"-esque dialogue popped the question to. The next woman was really interesting because she actually called me to her table to help her with the English spelling in a letter to her son in New Zealand. I got her life story about coming to Canada from Iraq after being a teacher there. Unfortunately, though her English was quite good, however I lost a word or two. She really was a lovely woman. So when I finally asked her, she opened by saying that she has lost her home, her husband, friends and hasn't seen the son in New Zealand for 9 years. So when it came to getting happiness she said,

Iraqi Woman: "You have to make your own happiness." She said that a lot of the people there were happy because they were surrounded by people in a similar state. They had friends here and friends are important to happiness. (Which we touched on in class)

The last group I spent a great deal of time with were WWII veterans, so I thought it would be interesting to see what made these men happy after seeing such atrocities in the world. These were men who buried their brothers in arms and (in the case of #2), were even talking on the radio with them when their planes exploded... just... wow.

#1: "Fun" (plain and simple)

#2: "There being just enough fuel in your plane for one last passover to land safely. Moments where good things happen."

#3: "Three pristine, untouched, high quality joints." (when he realized I was serious he said) "Happiness is a mental state. It's just about putting yourself into that state. We sometimes look at each day with depression, but when you actually look back on the calender month you'll find that you actually have more happy days than sad days. All you have to do is realize it."

#4: "Happiness is what happens in small, fleeting moments." (He was an incredibly quiet man, who had clearly been through a lot of pain. Though I wished I could have asked a bit more before being interrupted, I'm surprised I got as much as I did and wouldn't have wanted to push him on it.)

It's hard to analyze all of the comments at once, but it is cool how there appears to be some repeated ideas of happiness and how to find it.

1) Just being happy by doing what's in your heart.
2) Working with the hand you're dealt and being thankful. Create happiness.
3) Small events, temporary where good things happen.

You can usually find it somewhere on every beach.

Interestingly, it seemed the simpler it was for someone to find happiness (based on their definition) the happier they appeared. When you just had to do what's in your heart or could manufacture it people were happier. Those that made happiness seem totally out of their control (a lot of the war veterans) appeared more solemn as a result.

A part of me wonders if the reason these people may seem happier compared to others is just because they've experienced so much and, as a result, have merely accepted things the way they are. I feel for people my age, where the future is still a series of blank chapters, it might not be so easy to accept. Anything can happen right now in our lives and there's a lot more stress on what that future may be opposed to the people who have already lived the majority of their lives.

But maybe some of these life veterans really do have a point. Perhaps life is only as complicated as people make it out to be. Yes there are things that are out of our control, but if we always strive to do what makes us happy and right in our hearts, I feel we're much less likely to end up in unhappy situations. And even when life throws you a curve ball out of nowhere, we shouldn't wallow in sorrow or complain. We should roll with the punches and accept things as they are.

If the entire purpose of our life is to strive for happiness, then suddenly life becomes much more simple when it's just within your grasp. It's easy to say, and in the grand scheme of things even true, but then why does life seem so complicated at times? Is it really just a matter of simplifying things? What happens if you don't know what you want? Perhaps part of what makes life complicated is just overthinking things constantly. If you want to try simplifying, give your mind a break and act instead. You might not know what happens, but if you just do what feels right you might eventually find what makes you happy. Just an idea.

Never stop questioning.