Compliments

A few days ago we were assigned the task to write a random compliment on a slip of paper (happiness chips) to give to each person in the class. It was actually more difficult than I thought it would be. Not because giving a compliment is difficult, but simply because I like to make compliments personal (instead of just "you're smart" or "nice shirt"), which is difficult to do when you barely know the names of some of the people in the class, let alone much about them.

So we got our happiness chips and I actually caught myself smiling at a few of them. In that sense I suppose our little class experiment was a success. Some of the ones I got were,

"Devin Brooks. I like how you are very energetic."

"You are a very original person. - Devin"

"Devin Brooks: You're hilarious and so nice!"

"Devin Brooks, You are really funny and you can make anyone laugh. You are awesome."

"Devoin. Very personable. Always in character."

"Devon. You don't speak the obvious and have a lot of interesting things to say."

"You will be next U.S. President."

Smile while you still can Obama.



The experiment came up with quite a few interesting observations. One for me personally was that I rolled my eyes at the comment whenever I saw someone had spelled my name with an "o" instead of an "i". It just put a bit of a damper on the compliment following. Looking back now I realize just how stupid that was. A lot of the people in this class have never felt the need to spell my name before, but the comment that they gave was still quite nice. Why couldn't I just accept the compliment? I think it might be just because many people just don't know how to take a compliment. Even when a kind sentiment is given to us we feel the need to scrutinize it, even twist it like the real truth is the worst manipulation. (Exp. Why did they write "good" instead of "great"?).

Another example of how we seem driven to negative comments is when Luke found comment that said something along the lines of him being bad smelling (someone had changed the original comment). Despite all of the other great compliments on his desk, he seemed fixated on that negative one. As we said in class, it's almost like getting a happiness chip makes us feel great, but getting a single negative comment is like taking ten of those chips away. It just seems so odd when we look back on it. Are we so obsessed with pleasing everyone that one insult can knock us down?

The reason that I feel that the more personal the compliment, like I really know the person, the better the other person feels is because if they can see the connection to themselves, they are less likely to analyze it to pieces. One of the people I gave a chip to actually posted a thank-you status on facebook to the anonymous contributor (aka me) saying it her day.  Which really made me feel great. 

A random compliment can make a huge difference in someone's life and it really isn't difficult. I mean there are a lot of times when you see complete random strangers and mentally compliment them (really clear skin, bright eyes, cool jacket, hairstyle, etc.) so how hard is it to actually vocalize it? Kind gestures have a bigger impact than we realize. Apparently there are times at Tim Hortons where someone will pay for the order of the person behind them as well. That person will be surprised and actually pay for the person behind them. This continues for hours.

The secret to happiness.

Random acts of happiness, compliments, they're both great to do and see. To be honest, when I hear or see such things it gives me a little more faith in humanity. Take a risk and compliment a complete stranger. The worst is they shrug it off. The best is you make their day. It's not rocket surgery.

Never stop questioning.