Dependency

When we're infants,
we need others to survive.
                  
When we're dying,
we need others to survive.

But here's the secret. In between,
we need others even more.

                                                                      -Tuesdays With Morrie

Another quote from Oprah Winfrey's production. We watched the film quite some time ago, but this is one of the lines of dialogue that really stood out above the rest.  Naturally at birth we are extremely dependent; unable to feed, bathe or survive on our own whatsoever.  This is also true, and even illustrated, in those who are dying as the viewer observes the deteriorating health of Morrie. To say that we are even more dependent in-between these two phases is bold to say in the least.

Clearly Morrie is not speaking of physical dependency, but an emotional one. The friendships and relationships we have created are apparently far more vital to our sanity than we might think. Something about it doesn't seem to stick though... This September many of us leaving the nest and setting out into the world to pursue higher education or enter the working world. We are entering a time of complete and utter independence. It's exciting, it's scary and it's happening. It's a time of great change in our lives and for this quote to enter our lives at such a crucial junction causes a moment of pause. It speaks against the very independence we are trying to strive for.

Time to head out...

Before analysing the quote, what is it about dependency that scares us? When we're children all we can ever dream about is growing up and acting on our own. Is it merely a matter of human pride? Or could the idea of relying on others be scary because others are unpredictable? People enter and leave our lives all the time. The only real constant is ourselves. Maybe it's because we're afraid to trust. The idea of physical dependency is most certainly scary because we like to be in control. Perhaps the same is true with emotional dependency. The D-word is often associated with one thing, weakness.

Morrie insists time and time again (by the way the film is based on a real person's life) that our relationships are the most important aspects of our lives. It is the people close to us that make our lives worth living and according to him, we need them to "survive". Despite appearing contradictory to what is going on in our lives, what Morrie says makes a lot of sense. We may not realize it often, but the people we allow into our lives have a huge effect on us. As for how this relates back to us leaving for University, maybe his idea can still hold true. Not only is this a chance for us to really spread our wings, but to test the limits of our friendships. It's true that some will snap and break, while others will hold firm. It's risky, however this is a time to fly that might be necessary.

As for emotional dependency it's iffy. As I said, in the grand scheme of things, the only constant is truly you. Are we really a constant though? More than that, many people thrive on human contact. I believe he's hinting at the fact that the time between birth and death we are in the very middle of our life journey. Anything and everything will happen. We enjoy the company of others more at this time because it's comforting to know that we're not the only ones journeying. As tough as life gets, we're not alone. There's nothing wrong with independence (knowing how to live with yourself is important), but don't completely shut out everyone in your life in order to achieve it. You are as much a part of their lives as they are of yours. Supporting one another is far from weakness.

Never stop questioning.